the hurt

i don't usually share this to everyone
not even my close friends knew
it's because it has long been gone
there's nothing anyone can do

it cut me too deep to even want a cure
a healing??? im not even sure
many years has passed since it happened
but i kept feeling it all over again

the past sure hunts, even until now
to forget the nightmares, i don't know how
the pain still lingers inside of me
why can't they just let me be

i have locked them inside my heart
not wanting to break apart
letting go seems impossible for me
the wounds they caused can't be healed


#deepinsideimdying

emptiness...

No matter how I tried ignoring things, I can't stop thinking...  I know there are important details that I must have knowledge with...  I have been trying not to give any interest with what you are hiding, but it's not helping me...  The more I fool myself on believing nothing's wrong, the more my mind is arguing with itself that there is... 

I know I don't have any right to ask questions specially when it involves someone from your past...  But baby, how will you expect me to fully love you if there are things you are hiding???  I won't judge you whatever it is, but you have to tell me everything I need to know so I will know how to help you... 

Maybe tonight I will have the courage to ask you certain questions, and I hope I find the right words so you won't get the wrong impression...  I want to know you more and I want to understand you more... But you have to open up to me, you have to help me understand...

#confused#

so much to say....

for eight years i've been wanting this
not just to tell you how much
but to show you i do

for eight years i've been waiting for you
not just to see and talk to you
but to feel and have you

it has been a long, very long journey
not just for you and me alone
but for us and our feelings

we often say that fate has been playing with us
not having the right time every time
but look at us now

we have come far from where we used to be
now that we finally have our time
and it feels so good

i know this isn't a dream anymore
you are here with me, for me
and i thank you

i will make this last
i will never get tired
coz i love you TOY....