no more pains of yesterday, no more traces of tears, not a memory to treasure, not worthy of anything at all..... just a mark, a mark that will forever remind me of the things i must, i should and i could forget....... what is it again?!?!?!?!?
my intentions were clear, I just want the world to know that I have moved on.. I've finally moved on...
some might think I'm crazy, that I'm just fooling myself, but guess what... I just can't feel anything.... Nothing at all...
When I did "this", I was so decided to really put an end, on everything... Coz I was so hurt that I've lost my will to live... I've disregarded so many people, those people who love me more than I've ever imagined... When I was saved, all that I felt that time was humiliation... I can't look into their eyes... I know they were all worried, but most of them, shocked... I could never blame them... I was strong, outside, but little did they know that I was dying inside...
No one ever asked me why I did it, not even my parents... But I saw the tears that they tried to hide from me... It pains me more to know that I have failed them... Every one of them...
That night, I heard nothing from them, we just let the evening pass as if there was nothing wrong... They're all just visiting and hanging out with me... With uneasy feeling, stabbing sights of disappointments... But deep inside, everyone of them wants to reach out to me, coz I've locked myself away from them for too long...
I used to be strong, until now, I didn't know what got into me...
I didn't regret anything that I did except that I disappointed them... I'm so sorry...
Now...
I don't know....
But I'm happy.... I am...
Can't remember any of the pains of the past, really, I can't.... And I've totally lose all the other feelings that I used to have... And it's a good thing right?!?
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